Saturday, November 2, 2013

Book Review: The Switch by Dawn Pendleton & Andrea Heltsley


Title: The Switch
Series: None
Author: Dawn Pendleton & Andrea Heltsley
Pages: 200
Pub Date: September 25, 2013
Publisher: Indie Inked
Book Source: Publisher via NetGalley
My Rating: 1 of 5 stars


Synopsis via Goodreads: Honor and Faith haven’t switched places since they were kids. When Honor begs her twin sister to go on a date with her boyfriend, Cameron, Faith reluctantly agrees. The problem is that she lets things go too far. Now Honor and Cameron have broken up and he won’t stop calling Faith, claiming he felt something more for her. The scary thing is, Faith felt it too. The problem, however, is the one rule that sisters and best friends abide by: don’t date their exes. 

Honor has her own problems. Breaking it off with Cameron was the right thing to do, but now his best friend, Parker, won’t leave her alone. The more time they spend together, the more Honor starts to heal. Suddenly, Honor sees Parker as more than just a friend who cares – and she wants more.

Neither sister wants to complicate things further and cross those boundaries, but they can’t stop their emotions for the guys in their lives. Turns out, the switch is the one thing that has changed them forever.

- - -

The Switch has got to be the worst book I've read in years. In fact, it made me change my DNF policy on my blog. I used to promise that I didn't do page minimums and didn't believe in DNF, yadda yadda... but now, I do. I sooo freaking do. It took every ounce of willpower I had to finish this book. It was absolutely awful. Never again will I waste hours of my life on a book that I dislike for the sake of fairness. Nope.

Let's talk about why this book sucks.

 First of all, the twin thing was so cliché I could barely stand it. Who ever said that twins absolutely have to be opposites? I mean, shit, why can't they have similar interests and similar personality traits? Ugh.

Meet our co-narrating protagonists:

Honor- Unpopular, bitchy, dark, too-much-makeup-wearing “goth girl”
Faith- Popular, perky, optimistic, pony-tail-sporting cheerleader

I mean... seriously? SERIOUSLY?

 Second, we top it off with a boy. Yup. A freaking boy gets between them.

Honor is pretty much bored with her boyfriend, Cameron. Faith happens to be “in love” with Cameron. Honor supposedly knows this. She kills two birds with one stone... by asking Faith to go on her anniversary date with Cameron in her place. Honor won't have to deal with Cameron and Faith can enjoy a date with her dream guy.

But Cameron kisses Faith and that changes everything. Honor is pissed, even though while trying to convince Faith to take her place, she told her it was okay to kiss him. *eyeroll*

So, Honor thinks Faith is a big ol' slut, and Faith thinks honor is to blame for putting her in that position to begin with.

Annoying. Annoying. Annoying.

That brings me to this:

 Slut-shaming. This book is laden with it. Slut-shaming is wrong and sexist and it pisses me the hell off. I could go on and on about how much it bothers me and why, but I don't want to go on a long tangent, because I totally could. The point is: it's screwed up. Every other page has someone calling someone else a slut or a whore. In one instance, Honor kisses her new boyfriend outside the school, and her best friend sees her. Her friend goes into a rant:

“You just let him kiss you and run his fingers through your hair, and then let him lift you up and press himself against you like a common whore [...]”

OH MY GOSH! *Gasp!!* You let him run his fingers through your hair? You harlot! ... What is this, the fucking 1800's? COMMON WHORE? I don't even...

And there is more:

“And if you don't shut your trap, the whole school will know who you've spread your legs for too.”

This is coming from Honor's new boyfriend, Parker. Then he goes on to talk about how threatening the head cheerleader with this little bit is some gallant act of heroism. What the fucking  fuck?!

But wait, there's MORE!

“We so did not share Cam! That's a terrible thing to say. It makes us sound like a family of sluts.”

“Two sluts in one morning must be my lucky day. You two should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“Calling me a slut is like the pot calling the kettle black. Everyone knows you will bend over for just about any guy.”

I could go on. The point is that the word SLUT is used about a hundred times in this book. Everyone is insulting everyone else for sleeping around, throwing around threats and jabs in every direction.

 Honor's best friend, Mel, is bisexual and apparently just loooooves Honor. This piece of the plot was 100% pointless. All it did was piss me off even more. I feel like it's such a fucking stereotype that all bisexual (or lesbian) girls end up being in love with their same-sex best friends. It's complete bullshit. I am not saying it never happens, but the way the author portrayed it in this book was condescending and patronizing. As a bisexual female, I am completely and thoroughly offended.

 The dialogue. It's cheesy. It's fake. It's forced. NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS! It's repetitive too. I can't tell you how many times Cameron looked at Faith like he “wanted to eat her for dessert”! Please expand your vocabulary. Please expand your use of metaphors. Please expand your list of expletives. Please don't write another book. Please. *cries*

Overall, it's needless for me to say that I hated this book. The premise sounded so fun and so new to the genre. It ended up being complete crap. It's offensive and infuriating. The characters are fake and shallow. The plot is ridiculous and has no substance what-so-ever. It's 200 pages of garbage. Don't ever read this book unless you want your brain to turn to mush.


1 comment:

GL Tomas said...

Wow you went pretty ham, lol. I agree with the twin comments! As a twin myself, my sister and I are more similar than we are different and it's hardly ever the case that one is popular and the other isn't. When you're twins sometimes you have friends but its just not the same as hanging out with your twin so you usually share best friends.

I don't like slut shaming at all in books! I think for teenage girls it's ok to be open and explore sexuality without making a girl come off as a....girl who gets around. I'd like to read more books where the lead female is experienced and isn't experiencing everything for the first time!

Pretty honest review though. I typically take a chance on twin books but I think I'll skip this one

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